Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
