margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
