And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
accomplished twins. life is a go
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
