Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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