Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
