benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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