This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
