I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This baby is an asshole
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I didn't notice because vodka
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
