and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
