Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
