At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
