He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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