It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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