According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
