Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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