After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
