So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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