GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
