Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
