btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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