Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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