What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
