i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
