she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
