Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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