oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
pray to the hookup gods
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
