Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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