Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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