I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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