I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
should my penis look like a turkey
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
