Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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