Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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