I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
