sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
