I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
