dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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