escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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