we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
