i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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