yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
