Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
