Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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