Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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