I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
