Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
