i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
