Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
