he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
