another moral hangover. fuck.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
