I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
