first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
