I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize