walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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