no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
