Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
