i was born a porn star she said
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
