The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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