Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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