Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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