he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
