Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize