just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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