How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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