I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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